I'm Not Sure

Question:



I'm a junior in high school and plan on graduating early and heading to college the spring semester of my senior year. However, I've been in this horrible low stage lately. No motivation, knowing I have to do my homework and go to school along with work and studies. I grew up going to church every Sunday and Wednesday up until I was around 8 or 9. My family tried out new churches and then sooner than later quit going altogether. I never got the information I had hoped to get at church to build my relationship with God. My parents divorced not too long after we stopped going to church and I flip flopped with who I lived with for a long time up until the summer before my sophomore year. I didn't really have any motivation for church. My dad liked to drink. I would sit and watch him get drunk on saturday nights and watch him sleep through getting up for church sunday morning. So it set into me that church wasn't all that important.

But now as I'm about to head off to college within the year I've been thinking probably more than I should. I've done A LOT of things I'm not proud of.. from repeating the Saturday nights I saw my dad live a few weekends.. to having too serious of a boyfriend for 2 years. I just feel super alone 98% of the time and I hate that feeling.. I'm a great student though; A's in B's in college credit courses but now I'm just wondering where do I start. What do I do to get my path with God straightened and fixed. Everyone I ask says 'ask Him for forgiveness' but I feel like there should be more than just asking for forgiveness. I want to get involved in a church. I'm not a very outgoing, step outside my shell kind of person so stepping into a new church and deciding where to go from there is a little intimidating to me. My mother is who I live with now. And she does her best as a single mom, but I get mad at her from time to time because I expect more.. and that makes me feel so cruddy because I know I shouldnt feel that way. She encourages me to go to church, but we don't have that relationship to talk about stuff concerning stuff like this.. So I was hoping you could help. Thanks



Answer:



First off, I want to say that I’m sorry that you have had a poor example of parenting in your life from your dad. I can understand that you get upset with your mom. It’s not that she’s not trying, but you feel like your missing out. That’s your dad’s fault though. The truth is that you were made for a greater purpose than what you’ve experienced so far. It’s great to hear that you are heading to college with a strong head start, but that is not where the success of your life is found (as you can see). Your purpose in life is meant to be found in your relationship with God. As easy as this might not sound or as hard as it might be to accept, but He is the Father that you have been longing for. Your dad may have neglected his duties of fathering you and rejected seeking God in his life, but that was not God’s plan. That was your dad’s choice. The truth is that sin leaves everyone in a bad state. No one goes unaffected. What I want you to examine first before going any further is your relationship with Him? It’s good to ask for forgiveness for things done, but you can’t do that if you do not belong to Him. Have you ever received Jesus into your life as your Savior? If you have not, that is issue that needs to be settled in your heart before continuing forward.



If you have received Him into your life, you have the connection to the Father that you need, and you have access to Him right here and now. You may have done some things that you regret, but you stand forgiven before the Father. It’s not because of anything you did or didn’t do, but because Jesus took your sin, your mess ups, mistakes, and paid for them on the cross. You stand blameless before Him. Not only that, but He is your Satisfaction. He is the Source which you were designed to feed from. Psalm 42:1 says as the deer pants for the water, so my soul longs after you Lord. You are hungry for the Lord, you crave that closeness to Him, and He promises to fill you if you open your heart to Him. It is through the strength of the Lord that you are meant to love your family, to forgive your dad, to receive an education for His plan for your life. But you have to want Him. You have to ask Him to lead you, and keep on asking. You have to search for Him as He has revealed where He is. You need to take the step and become vulnerable to Him and He is Faithful to respond and comfort you. Ask Him to help you see this situation the way He sees it. Ask Him to give you a hunger for His love. His love casts out all fear. Do not let your fear control you. Lift it to Him now. Confess anything you have done, and know that you are forgiven. And seek Him out.

Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.