Dating

Question:



I used to have a problem with sexual sin, a little over a year ago it was going on,, me and my girl friend, then wen we broke up, it was bad.. so from that moment on i tried so hard to stop the sexual sin. and when that was done, i started to control where my eyes went and lust issues, and from there i decided to not date anymore because if i did it would lead me back down the same road, its been over 4 months since ive even had a desire to date because i try so hard to keep it out afraid of what might come.

I have recently met this girl. and i know she likes me. she is a newborn christian. and i would have an accountability partner. i have tried very hard to not like her. but still i do.



Answer:



From what you have told me it sounds like you have seen the error of your past ways and you want to do things the right way that honors the Lord. I’m glad that you’ve taken the step to get accountability because that is a key in the healing process. The issue that you need to focus on is not whether or not you should date this girl. The issue is where your heart is. You gave into sexual sin in the past because you let your heart which was dictated by the lust of your human nature control you. That is how the world operates but as a child of God you cannot live like that since you are in Christ. God says in Romans 6:11 that you need to reckon yourself dead to sin by alive to God. That means that you have to live out your life and your day to day decisions based on the Truth that your life is in Christ. You literally have Christ in you and you have to submit every decision that you make based on that Truth.



Now this may be a good girl, and it very well may be that you two are destined to be together in God’s eyes. But I think it may be best for you to put dating on hold. This doesn’t mean you can’t talk to her or be friends. It sounds like you have done all you can on the outside to obey the Lord in this aspect but obedience starts with the heart. If at the center of your heart you are afraid that you will go back to that old way of dating then your heart is not ready because you are focused on your own lack of ability and God needs to train you to rest in His promises and to function in the dating realm in a way that pleases Him. The issue is always the heart and never the external. God is more concerned with the foundation that you are building your life on, and if you submit yourself to building your life on His foundation then He will bless you as He sees fit. Open your heart to the Lord and ask Him to teach you and let Him build you.

Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.