I'm going through a hard time. I have to make desitions and I've been waiting for God's answers. But I can't seem to find the answers so I thought I could ask for some help. How do I know if the guy I'm with is the one that God wants me? We started going out for about 2 years. We have different culture backgrounds and it's really hard sometimes. I'm afraid of falling in love if he's not the one so I've been holding back. But he fell in love and I feel really bad so I asked him to give me time so that I could ask God for guidence. He wants to marry me, but I don't want to do anything until I have an anwer. What should i do???!!!
Answer:That is a legitimate question, and it is one for which I know the Lord has a legitimate answer. We need to keep in mind that when one talks about marriage, God views this as two people coming together as one. From that point forward, they learn to live life as one, making decisions to serve the other, and building that relationship in the love God wants us to function. This is not a quick fix to fill a human need, and you are taking this seriously. While cultural differences can be difficult, they are not the main concern for what makes a believer's marriage work or not work.
You have to ask yourself a few questions and see how God views this relationship if it were to become a marriage. (1) For a godly marriage, both must be believers. Saved and unsaved do not go together, and it would never work. (2 Cor. 6:14) (2) Has God brought this relationship together? (Gen. 2:22) Now there are things such as attraction, a pursuing and winning of one's heart which naturally take place. But can you confidently say that God is at the heart of what is taking place? (3) Has God made it clear that you are fit for each other? God made and redeemed you for His glory, and He is the Provider for your every need. I believe the one He has for you as Genesis 2:18 says will be a fit. Not in the way the world sees it, but in union for God's plan for your life and his life. There should be a drawing of you both together to push each other in following the Lord and His plan for your lives. (4) Is this the right timing? (Ecc. 3:1) Has God been working in your life and in his life to bring you two to a place where you are ready for this lifelong commitment? Now these are not the only things that reveal if this is from God. But your relationship should definitely line up in these categories.
If this guy is not a believer, then hands down he's not the one. If he is a believer and not pursuing God in his life as he should or there is not evidence that his relationship with the Lord is not guiding his decisions daily, then he is not ready and marriage should not be discussed. I believe you also need to ask Jesus to help you examine why you are dating him. If it's to fulfill that desire to be with someone out of fear for being alone, you very well might be on track to get yourself hurt. If this was in hopes of finding the one who God has for you in marriage then you've learned the true purpose for dating. Ultimately, you need to pour your heart out to Christ and get a hold of Him at the throne and beg Him to show you what He wants. He's given you the Holy Spirit, and direct access to Him. Lay hold of Him boldly and submit to His plan whatever He has. I would also encourage you to seek out godly counsel from older believers that are in your life. Proverbs 11:14 says that there is safety in a multitude of counselors. God will honor your advice seeking from godly people and He will reveal His will. Godly people look to the Lord and their advice will be consistent as His Word reveals.
Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.
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