Struggling

Question:



Hey, I have been dealing with porn. The thing is that I'm also married to a wonderful woman. I just can't stop looking at this. Plese help



Answer:



This is a very common struggle among men (as I’m sure you know) and unfortunately the line of this does not stop with unbelieving men. Men of God struggle with this just as much as unbelievers and stay in defeat. I would like to share a couple of realities with you that you have to accept in order to move forward in victory. You have to be honest about your struggle. You’re in over your head and you don’t know how to stop. You are completely powerless against this because the enemy is yourself, not the images. This is a lifelong fight and not a quick fix. You did not get where you are now overnight. More than likely it started when you were and adolescent and now you see years of hiding and protecting this secret. Another thing you need to realize is that you already have the victory in Christ. Now I said it’s a lifelong fight, the fight is to learn to stand in His victory, but He has already won. When Christ conquered sin and death on the cross, He overcame the addiction to porn.


Now there are a couple of steps that you need to implement in your life to walk in this victory. The first starts with confession. This secret has got to get out in the open. Not with everyone because not everyone is equipped in Christ to help you. You need to share this with Christ first, then out of obedience to Him with your wife, your pastor, and those in your life who are Christ to you (James 5:16, 1 John 1:9). Next, you need to keep this in accountability, that means being open and honest about those times that you fall with those people who you confide in and will encourage you to push forward in Christ. You then need to get involved with other men of God who are fighting the same fight. If you know of a group I encourage you to get involved with them. If you don’t, contact me and I’ll help you find a place to get involved. Next, you need to let God change your heart with His Truth and fill you with what you need to combat that lie that porn will satisfy. Your heart believes this lie because you have given yourself to it, now you must choose to focus the attention of your heart to Christ and let His Truth set you free. If you are filled with Christ, you won’t find satisfaction anywhere else.


Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

The Bible

Question:



I`ve been talking to my non-christian friend about God stuff and he asked questions I didn`t know the answer to:

Why there are so many versions of the Bible (King James, NIV, Living translation, Today`s International version etc)?

Who wrote the Bible? I know it was written by disciples and other people appointed by God, but then he proceeded to ask how is it 100% from God when those people`s personal opinions or insight slips in there? Then how do you know that what`s said in the bible is true?

If a person doesn`t know if they believe that God exists or not...what can I say to convince him that God does exist? I`ve already told him my life story.

He thinks he doesn`t need God in his life because he doesn`t think anything would change or be different...he`s one of those people that has everything together, very resilient, thinks logically, very positive and a good person all around...how do I convince him he still needs God even after I`ve told him that Jesus loves him and died for him so that he can have a relationship with God and spend eternity with God?




Answer:



These are some deep questions that your friend has, and for the most part not a lot of Christians really know how to address it off the top of their heads. For that reason I would encourage you to do some personal research. To give you some helpful tips, we have help websites that deal exactly with this issue. If you go to our website at www.freeourfamily.com you’ll find a link that says Resources. Under that link you’ll find a link that says Help Sites. Click on that and under the topics click on Biblical Accuracy. A good site under this is Bible Researcher. Mind you that this information is not the easiest read, meaning that it’s not reading for entertainment, but it answers your friend’s questions to the T.


I’ll give you some heads up though. You have to look at this from the perspective of God and not of man. Bottom line is God’s Word is God coming to man and showing Him how to have a relationship with Him. The responsibility is on Him to make His Word clear. He gave man the exact words He wanted them to write through His Holy Spirit over thousands of years and those do not contradict in nature. Jesus said Himself that not one little mark would fail from God’s Word. The heavens would fall apart before that happened. What you may not know is that there were Hebrew and Greek translators that were careful to translate every word pure to its form. If one made a mistake, they would throw away the whole portion and start over. They would match up their work with each to make sure they would not make any errors. There’s also the account of the Dead Sea Scrolls which have most of the book of Isaiah on them. They matched those documents up to what they had on Isaiah and they were a perfect match despite being written over a thousand years apart. There were also councils of the early church that examined the books that were known as God’s Word. They held up the books that we know today as written by God against those that were not. Those that were put to the side are known as the Apocrypha. I know what I’ve given you isn’t the whole thing but it’s good for you to do some personal study to learn this for yourself.


Ultimately, all the study is not going to convince your friend of his need for Christ. Now study will validate what God’s Word says, but this is an issue of faith. Your friend is making a claim on something he has not researched or gone to poor references for information he wants to think is true. God has to work on his heart to see his need for Him. For that you can be in prayer for him and that you be the witness he needs.


Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

Control

Question:



I need help. How do you give things to god and not take them back. I find myself telling God to take over on situations and then talking about them again.




Answer:


That is a very good question that you asked. I apologize for not responding quickly to your question. But I would like to send you the Bible Study that we have scheduled for tomorrow because it deals with that exact same issue. I believe this study is practical application to this condition of the heart. Make note that this study is not meant to give you every answer to your situation, but to show what the issue is and what steps to take in dealing with the situation.



Deliverance



Psalm 35:24

Vindicate me, O Lord my God, according to Your righteousness; and let not them rejoice over me.



Have you ever had those moments in your life when you felt very vulnerable? The things that you normally use to protect your heart just don’t hold up and you know you need a helping hand? I have had those moments. I have turned to the Lord in moments like that and He was faithful to give me strength not just to move forward, but to move forward in pursuit of Him. Instead of pursuing Him, the natural reaction of my heart was to be satisfied with what little He gave me and go back to doing my own thing. Unfortunately more times than not this was how I chose to react. If we are honest from our hearts, we are all like that. We may turn to the Lord in prayer for deliverance from a certain thing, but not for His glory. We would rather get out of it so we can be comfortable again. Proof of this heart condition is when our prayers are not answered right away. Our reaction towards God is one of being bitter and angry that He would allow us to get hurt. Brothers and sisters, this is the wrong attitude to prayers of deliverance.



If you look at David you can find the proper example of prayer for deliverance. He wasn’t asking God to save him because he was sinless. As we all know David is known for a great sin in his life. It started with David focusing his attention on the Lord and His working in David’s life. David had seen God reveal Himself through His Word, and through being Faithful in his life. David was asking God to save him because of His goodness and nothing of David’s own. His prayer was that anyone who attacked him because of the Lord’s working in his life would not succeed. A prayer of deliverance has nothing to do with you, it has to do with the Lord working in and through you for His glory.


Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

Wondering about God and Suicide

Question:



Well I've read the Bible a little bit and it's not as bad as I once thought. I've realized that even though I want to die, God isn't going to let me until He thinks it's time so I've decided to start doing my homework again. My goal is to bring all of my grades up. I'm not happy yet, but I'm hoping to get there soon. Please share some of your thoughts with me.



Answer:



I know that this life can be frustrating and that it doesn’t turn out in ways that we wish it would. But I do want to tell you this, you will not find your happiness based on what you do, no matter how hard you try or how successful you are in reaching those goals. You will find your fulfillment based on who you are in Christ and what He has done for you. The answer is not out there, the answer is right there with you. The answer is Jesus, and you belong to Him when you called out and entrusted Him with your life. The way that you are lead by Him is by allowing yourself to quiet down, and push everything that fills your mind to the side, and you realize that He has your life in His hands and that He will take care of you. When you allow Him to place you in that mindset, then you are ready to be led by Him and find your fulfillment in Him. Following Jesus isn’t always easy, and at times it can be uncomfortable, but it’s the best thing you could ever do with your life. Because you are following a cause, Jesus, that is greater than you are. Truth be told, He is the greatest cause you could ever follow with your life. Please consider what I have told you and consider where you are and what Christ offers to you. He offers true life, the life you were meant to live.

Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

Question:



Ok I always have a hard time with this. Books don't effect me but somtimes they can be pretty dark.I'm reading the book ravens gate and I can't tell if this is demaonic. There is still good and evil though.
I like the book but should I go on in this series?



Answer:



If you look at Philippians 4:8, you'll see the guidelines for what Christ views as acceptable for what we pour ourselves into for godly living. You have to ask yourself this question; does what I'm putting myself into lead me into the new life that is in Christ or does it encourage me looking back at the old life? I'm not saying that you can't ever read anything that is not written by a Christian, but there should be a desire to honor and follow the Lord that needs to guide your decision making. If these books lead you to things or thinking that is not of the Lord, you need to stop it. This is something you need to come to terms with between you and Christ.

Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

Friends Dating

Question:



Can I get your opinion on something my best friend ben is dating this girl who is not a Christian but he is a Christian and I am concerned because she is older then him and more experienced if you know what I mean by that and I really don’t want her leading him down a bad path at my school we have a prayer group that meets every morning before school to pray and the other day instead of going to it he stood with her and I am a bit concerned I want to know your opinion should I talk to him or should I just let it go also I use to like him and he liked me too and I don’t want him or her to think I am trying to take him because that is not my intention I only want to make sure he doesn’t make any choices he will regret oh and to top it all off his mom does not know anything and his parents don’t allow him to date!



Answer:



He's heading down the wrong path from the start. It's never a good thing to step outside your parent's authority and make your own decisions. Even if he disagrees with his parents' decision for him not to date, he needs to respect that because they are his parents. That alone makes it out of line. But the fact that he's dating someone who is not a believer makes it wrong from an authority standpoint and from his walk with Christ. It's clear in God's Word that an unbeliever and a believer just can't go together, they are going in two completely different directions (2 Cor. 6:14). Your friend is setting himself up for trouble. I would do what I could to warn him of the trouble he's getting himself into. More than likely he's not going to want to listen, but that is his choice. By all means pray that God would work on his heart and that he would see the danger of what he's doing.

Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

Women Leadership

Question:



I have a mass communications class in college with an extremely liberal professor. Today, he touched on a Christian bookstore refusing to sell a magazine with a spotlight on women pastors, saying that they were legal in doing that, but old-fashion (he equated it with women and voting). I emailed him about it, and he is offering me a chance to explain why the bookstore would not sell the mag. I need a way to explain the Christian conviction about women not leading men in a way that won't make Christianity look outdated.



Answer:



Congragulations! You have stumbled on probably the most controversial topic relating to Christian living today! Seriously, this is a really touchy issue because this view has been interpreted with a lack of balance. While there is a position given regarding spiritual authority to men and women, it has nothing to do with superiority. For example, in Titus 1:5, Paul clearly states that the man is ordained by God to be leader in a church. It has nothing to do with being superior to women. It all has to do with position. God has ordained that a man be positionally over women. Just like Christ submited to the will of God as a Son. He was not less than God, He was actually equal. However, He positionally placed Himself as Son because of the will of the Father.

It really is a matter of God positioning a man as leader of a church. It doesn't mean that women cannot share encouragement or sing specials in churches. God has simply placed man as leader by His choice. In Christ, we are all the same. Christ looks at His children, whether Jew, Gentile, man, woman, all are the same in His eyes. To lift one over the other is really putting oneself in Christ's position. (So anyone who thinks they are a better Christian is dead wrong). I hope this helps. If not, please let me know.

Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

Hello

Question:



Um, I got a question. How do I keep my mind on God when things get tough?
Also, how do I keep on thinking positive and not think that I have no purpose in live or things like that?



Answer:



I understand what you’re asking. But the way that God works and what you are asking for are two different things. You’re wondering how you can fit God in your life and you were made to be fit into God’s plan and His Kingdom. It’s like you’re trying to fit a square object in a circular hole. It just doesn’t work. You have to look at God through the eyes of faith. Colossians 3 says that we have to set our eyes on things that are from Him above and not on things that are on the earth, because our life is in Christ. He IS your purpose. If you try to find it outside of Him you’ll only end up frustrated. Before you can be filled in fellowship with Him you have to let Him set your mind focused on Him so He can speak to you as you need.

Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

Friends

Question:



Ok, my sister is having a real hard time with friends. I've tried to give her advice cause I went through the same thing in elementary.

This girl was her best friend at school but now she just isn't. She is trying hard to be nice and not bossy. I know, well I really know that some girls are very harsh and some are forgiving with other girls at a young age. I feel bad for her because I remember how it felt when I was in her grade and no one will play with you at recess or sit with you at lunch. Somtimes it gets better as you get older but I know a couple of kids who were hated through elementary and in middleschool now. Any advice you could give her?



Answer:



People learn at a very young age how not to accept someone or what it's like not to be accepted. I wish it didn't have to be that way because all that anyone really wants from other people is just to be accepted. The best thing you can be as an encouragement to your sister is to love and accept her for who she is. Do what you can to show her that you love her for who she is on the inside and not what she can make herself appear to be on the outside. When people reject someone most of the time it's for what they see on the outside and all those things are very superficial.

Ultimately, your sister needs to see that who she is on the inside is what matters. People can try to get her down, but the only one who can keep her down is herself. If she learns to accept who she is and make those who love her that way as her friends, she will develop the right and healthy view of people and people who look after vanity won't bother her, as a matter of fact they will be the ones who are missing out.


Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.

About Sex

Queation:



So, I'm in love with this boy. He's perfect for me. And we plan on getting married in about 3 years. We both want to wait at least a month or two more before we sleep together. (We have been in love for about 3 monthes.) My best friend, who encouraged me to get back in touch with God, wants me to wait at least a year, if not until marriage. I really would just like another opinion on the "when". Is it a sin to have sex before marriage?

Also, my boyfriend is not a believer. I really want him to have faith. My pastor and you have both said that a marriage will only work if both partners believe. Any advice?



Answer:



You have to understand that there is going to be a differing of advice from me or most any other pastor and anyone who comes from a secular standpoint. The advice that I will say is based on a personal relationship with Jesus. From a human’s perspective this guy may be “perfect” for you. He may match up very well with you personality wise, likes and dislikes, and he may be all that you are looking for a husband. But know this, all that I have said in regards to him is from a human perspective. If you choose to base your decision on what you feel, or any natural response, you’ll more than likely sleep with this guy and maybe one day get married. If life were all about what we see, feel, grasp with our human senses then sex outside of marriage would be natural. But we are not just humans beings with nothing spiritual. God’s Word says that He is Spirit, and He created us in His image. That means you are a human with an eternal soul and He has revealed through His Word how He wishes us to live in according to His plan. If you have received Christ into your life, you are bought by Him and your life belongs to Him. God’s Word reveals not only that we are spiritual beings in a human body, but also how we can walk with Him through Christ and how to live our lives pleasing to Him. He has revealed that marriage is not just a change of last name. It is a spiritual union of two lives that from that point on must learn to walk as one. That is why God’s Word says that believers cannot be joined with unbelievers and expect a healthy marriage. It just will not work no matter how hard both may try. Both are heading in opposite directions.



Now in regards to sex, sex is an expression of God bringing two people together in unity. Since we are human beings with a spirit (in the case of believers the Life of Christ dwelling in us) sex is a physical, emotional, and spiritual bonding of two people. God designed for it to take place only in marriage because when someone has sex outside of marriage, there is no safety. When someone sleeps with multiple partners they rip who they are on the inside apart and share that with other partners. A believer is called to be faithful to the Lord and walk in purity until He brings the person He has for you together in marriage.



On a side note about what to base your decisions, you have to ask yourself on what are you going to make your decision. You may get many different opinions from people because they have a different set of values. What I have said is based on the values that God desires believers to walk.

Don't forget, if you have a question you can send it to me at asktheyouthpastor@xtrlive.com plus you can talk to us tonight at www.studenthopeline.com.